You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
foreskin is a definite game changer
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
