YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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