I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
