I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Randomize
