Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
