Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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