Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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