i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
sex in a hospital.. check
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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