So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
My cat gives me a boner
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
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