I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
