awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
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