Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
third nipple confirmed
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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