Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
Randomize