You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
