Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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