Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
We need to rekindle our bromance
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
