so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
They should really pass out barf bags in church
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
