isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
