Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
