OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
