If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
