I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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