I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
