she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize
