): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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