I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
