He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
