It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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