Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
