i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
