Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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