I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
send nudes
from the living room?
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