just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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