I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize