Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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