You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
