Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
