We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
