The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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