It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I think people are normalizing furries
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
