i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
