When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
