Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
