yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Say something about gay babies.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize