how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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