Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I will be naked everywhere
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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