a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Randomize
