And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
