Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
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