I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
a search helicopter?!
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Randomize
