Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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