oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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