He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize