Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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