I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
