It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
