THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Randomize
