Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
Randomize
