Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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