Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
