oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
