if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Randomize
