I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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