I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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