im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
