i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
