i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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