Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Buhtt sex?
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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