I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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