Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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