My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
