he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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