dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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