babies were throwing up all over the place
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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