i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize