YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
