Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
