Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
