cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
