We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
