Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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