He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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