He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize