her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
