she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
