my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
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