AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
