road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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