thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
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